1. |
Antidote
03:01
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sometimes you have to pour
gasoline on the garbage pit
the abyss grin of crystal teeth
before it tries to hurt you anymore
it's rotted too deep to ignore
make it numb and rupture it
no fence of basement body art and broken promises
can keep it like it was before
when the flames have all forgiven you
and there's no remains left to take home
sink like a splinter in your empty room
isolation is the only heaven you can know
cuz they threatened you with archaic orphan trains
your severed fingers in a shoe box underneath your mother's bed
and others hit on you in clouds of secondhand smoke and motion sickness
dirty mechanic hands and long-stemmed roses made a mockery of your living dead
and everyone was lying when they said they knew your pain
they just wanted your naive introspection
through your doll eyes losing color by the day
learn the art of having nothing nice to give them
don't sleep with the lights off, the dark is not for you
don't sleep like you haven't witnessed all you've been through
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2. |
TMI
02:42
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Your irritating pen pal, your starry-eyed apprentice
I'm fascinated, maybe even fancy you, ridiculous
terrified to catch your eye but twice as much I knew I had to try
I crush my own ideas, no prescription to be amorous
taking pictures for you, waiting for your messages
Embarrassing, you know everything, is my desire for suffering?
Throw these in a bowl of fractured words that we won't touch
Sneaky little heartbeats make me think too much
I'll spill it in my sketchbooks, scratch it in my diary
Fight it when ignited and my fingers slide inside of me
Apologies, this turns my needs into something frightful and forgive me please
This is how I deal with an awkward mess I shouldn't feel
Angrily come after me, I'm out of line, I broke the deal
Seeing things I shouldn't see, No comment, I meant it, but you're haunting me
Throw these in a bowl of fractured words that we won't touch
Sneaky little heartbeats make me think too much
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3. |
Flighty
03:47
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Happy sacrificial knives passing fist to voice to eyes I
don't know if you'll let me go this time
Not when I'm so very easily squeezed to death
Every city thinks I like it best
Bind my luggage to my ribs and pass me land to land
Transmute my love to give, I'll taste myself on other hands
I wanted running off to heal me but it won't
My wasted time still likes to drag me further on from home
I signed off on receipts of damage,
promised I'd do better, what pain can't I manage?
Flushed fake names in train station bathrooms
I close my eyes, sometimes it's like I never met you
Ignoring unknown numbers, naked photos, on my phone
I'll never get my secrets back but I can be alone
And no one knows me when the mourning's breaking down
They macerate the last remains from when I came around
Nowhere on my backbone has a place to graft on wings
My flesh is trickery, I fly away like anything
I wanted giving in to heal me but it won't
My traumatized desires like to drag me further on from home
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4. |
LDR
02:56
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I wish you'd send me home in your shirt half-buttoned and hiding little blooms of hurt.
The good kind, I wouldn't mind covering my collarbones pressing them with fingertips to
make me moan all over again when I leave for the world of mine and you fill your time with your usual work.
Twenty hours in an aisle seat, against all logic if you wanted it, all you had to do was ask me.
One word from you and we'd meet, it took so many more to say you'd pass, and even
now I breathe out hopeless dreams of changing that.
You had the magic act and prop gun, I know the stage was made for blanks but fingers on my chest say I'm still bleeding out, in front of everyone.
So I'll hang around the airline waiting room, watching each departure from the chairs, holding
postcards like I've never been there, giddy for each echoed destination, carving hearts out of the
constellations when they leave soon.
Pretending, with a hand around my empty bag, that I'm on my way to see you.
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5. |
Devotional
04:01
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You get me like spilled milk sour in my eyes
a televangelist's wife, smeared mascara when she cries
You get me with my arms up praising on the floor
Communion with the dead from my tongue to your core
All traditions blended, all permission is yours
Rolling vision skyward, my mortal ribs are sore
Rip my hips of purity, the halos in my eyes
are illusions dragged and dirty, dust circles in the light
you get me pale as petals like you lay me in the ground
funeral flowers dripping white where they're found
getting dirt above my heart to keep me around
forgiveness at the hitch in your breath as a holy sound
Red eyes like the tips of incense, no confession gets us out of this
the cemetery gate inherent in my escaping bliss
you get me showing all the mercy I've ever allowed
But oh my god, I'm so godless and hopeless who could bless us now?
see you through a cloudy prism, posed like a stoned angel in the window of your prison
fuck me over and tear away at me, knotting up all the threads of destiny
fuck me like you've never loved a freak before, we can all sort it out at heaven's door
How can I have a heartache dressing candles for our fate?
Carving names when apart cuz' my savior makes me wait
Cuz' my healer makes me bleed at the edge of their affection
One more serpent held down in their collection
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6. |
Judgment Day
05:43
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The devil and the distant lovers
Spread together once in front of me
And with thorns embracing my forehead
In your careless wasteland, now I see
I don't really want to tear your throat out with my own
A waxwing with a hawk's brutality and vengeful need to shake your bones
I tried to keep decisions quiet, how dare I like you defiantly
When you want to die alone divining with the bones you pulled from me
I crushed glass early and pushed the shards
Into my ugly heart, to get it hardened
Cuz I always knew deep down that you
Would gladly do it for me if I didn't start
Ten of swords, no two of cups
It's hopeless now for both of us
No favor at your side, no ecstacy
Walk over me, I know you show no mercy on your enemies
I don't really want to tear your throat out with my own
Waxwing with a hawk's brutality and vengeful need to shake your bones
I was all falling melting for every scraped together inch of you
And your teeth were sinking in but what could a smitten schoolboy do?
When I crushed glass early and pushed the shards
Into my ugly heart, to get it hardened
Cuz I always knew deep down that you
Would gladly do it for me if I didn't start
Wanting wisdom, delicate, knees on the floor, your eager pet
You think you vivisect me, no relief, your lancet learns my grief
As if it helps to drain, Mistaking honest rage for fleeting pain
As if the power's yours
When I crushed glass early and pushed the shards
Into my ugly heart, to get it hardened
Cuz I always knew deep down that you
Would gladly do it for me if I didn't start
Now you can't hurt me more than a pin's length and sharpness
Through my hand, some broken skin, once held out to understand
The places that you've been but my words were never worthy,
And I'm not someone you'd chase down
You turn your eyes away from the prey you couldn't kill now
It's okay, okay?
Weren't we nothing anyway?
No chance to try, no time to say
That I could've loved you in a while and learned your ways
I could've loved you
Through the length of judgment day
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7. |
Carnal Gods Leer
04:51
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You've got mythical selkie eyes,
endless in darkness, russet slivers embedded to surprise
And my tongue is tied at the thought of light
plunging through each ardent iris, drawing pupils tight
To reveal the burnished shades only known in the space
Of a gaze that flutters out beneath my fingers on your face
We could be tangled silhouettes against the mattress edge
Tearing fragile hems that get between us in my head
Careless for the blankets folding shadows on the floor
Leave the room destroyed but I don't care, I want you more
And to know what morning looks like sliding down your skin
Hours stretched between your freckles, neck to shoulder giving in
To the promises of motion and a shudder we could share
Or lure me out with dusky lashes I would follow anywhere
Angel scars lend order to my sinful injuries
Trying to remind how all this wanting ends for me
But I find your image spreading through the things I fantasize
Now you've got your name all scrambled in the love stories of mine
Leave me daring in my daydreams
Worthless compared to what could be
Birthdays, cake for breakfast, always embrace you when you
Come home, pulses running free
There'd be so many places calling, the ocean, dive bars, diners, Central Park in spring, we'll go.
And you don't know I'd trade California winters, for walking in the snow, as long as we were close
I only wish that you would see
If you're lonely, I'm all yours, just notice me
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Noll Griffin Berlin, Germany
The body at the bottom of the haunted lake says hello.
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